Honesty

It is difficult to say exactly what I think.

I have to consider how my words might affect the other person and the group we belong to.

Only after checking once more whether I truly think that way, and whether the thought is right, can I say it aloud.

Often, after weighing things for so long, I miss the moment, and the meaning and feeling of the words fade.

It is important to find the right place between caution and boldness.

Many people want to hear the truth. Everyone says, “Tell me honestly.”

But there are a few things to consider.

First, there is no need to be honest about everything with everyone.

Untruths have a value of their own. They make our lives richer and save us unnecessary expenditure of energy.

In some situations, “Let well enough alone” sounds reasonably sensible.

Likewise, the people I should be honest with are those I care about and look forward to sharing a future with.

There is no need to tell the truth to someone when telling it has no value.

Second, we should consider whether the other person can bear hearing the truth.

Before enough interaction has taken place, a relationship can be as thin as a thread, snapping under even a small shock.

Personally, regardless of how close we are, I really appreciate someone being honest with me, whether the message is positive or negative.

Reading social cues is not one of my strengths, so I often do not understand what someone thinks until they tell me plainly.

A truth that differs from my expectations may surprise me a little, but it makes me trust the other person more.

Other people, however, vary in how receptive they are depending on their circumstances and personal traits, so care is needed.

We also need to think about the way we are honest.

Honesty and rudeness are different. We need to choose a message that conveys our intent well without hurting the other person’s feelings.

Even with the same intention, the effect on someone can differ depending on how we deliver it.

Swimmers wet their chests before entering cold water.

Similarly, before telling the truth, we can prepare the other person with a question like “Can I be honest with you?” so it does not come as a shock.

Then perhaps the best approach is to speak in carefully chosen language that is specific without straying from the point.

Honesty matters not only in relationships with others, but also with ourselves.

To receive the right help, we have to be honest. To learn, we have to reveal our ignorance.

We need to be honest about whether we truly believe something or are simply trying to escape an unpleasant situation.

Whether we like it or not, we need to look at our current circumstances and think about how to improve them.

This is, in fact, very difficult. Everyone has an instinct to preserve a positive self-image.

In a time that is not especially honest, honesty seems all the more attractive.

Some things must be said. Otherwise, we regret it. Let us have the courage to say what we want to say.